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foaxes 2


⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀awk here we go again

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀here I go again on ma ain

that’s a gid song aht

⠀⠀wee bitta whitesnake

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ hing on

⠀⠀⠀⠀ahts detractin fae ma point

⠀⠀aht hings distractin me again

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀wae its mad ginger tail

⠀⠀flickin aboot aw ooer the joint lit a feather duster

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ let me journey back

⠀⠀⠀⠀aht foax ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀is back again

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  ye ken thi wan

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀mockin me ⠀⠀⠀so it is

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀well no this year pal


⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀her maw n dah are ooer

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀sa the wains are entertained

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀climbin aw ooer thair heeds

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀lit wee spider monkeys

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀scoffin quality street

⠀⠀⠀⠀n makin stain glass windaes oot thi wrappers

keep thum occupado for a while

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀no payin attention tae whit am dain


⠀⠀⠀⠀ah wis prepared this year ⠀⠀⠀⠀so ah wis

ah might still have her pink goonie on ⠀⠀⠀standard

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀but ah’ve no goat the slippers oan this time

⠀⠀⠀ah’ve goat ma bits oan n ah dont care anymare

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀aht hings gettin hunted


⠀⠀⠀⠀it scampers across ma grass

⠀⠀⠀coated wae that thick frost

thi kind aht crunches unner yer bits lit gravel

⠀⠀n there’s a fog creepin lit sumhin ootta silent hill

⠀⠀⠀⠀n aht foax is balancin up oan its hind legs

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀front paws oan ma bin

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀readin fur tippin the hing

well no this time bucko


⠀⠀⠀⠀ahm just aboot tae charge oot there

⠀⠀three day auld daily record in haun

bits strapped onto ma freezing tootsies

⠀⠀⠀huntin this hing oot ma gairden once n fur aw

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀but here

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀just as ah go fur the door

⠀⠀⠀⠀wee pebbles paws at ma trooser leg

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀she kens whit ahm lukin at

we caw her pebbles like the wee yin in the flintstones

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀on account ae her rid hair


she’s goat a leftovers piece in her other wee paw

⠀⠀⠀⠀turkey n squashed stuffin n pigs n blankits

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n cranberry sauce ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀gadz

⠀⠀⠀⠀ n gravy n bacon chucked in fur gid measure

a cacophonous combo ae the horrid food aht comes

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀wae this mingin festive season


⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀she’s sayin

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀dah dah mon we’ll gee a piece

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀ tae the wee foaxes

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀tae the foaxes

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀is she

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀kiddin me oan?

⠀⠀but wae her suddenly sleepy wee eyes

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀n aht wee face

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ah can hardly say naw cin ah


⠀⠀⠀⠀we totter oot thi backdoor n thairs thi menace

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀thi beast aht mocks me

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀comes back here n laughs aht me

⠀⠀ thi vermin aht plagues ma dreams ⠀⠀⠀so it does

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n we ur walkin across the grass

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀n it freezes n stares at us

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n a single wee club slinks oot fae behin it

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀it’s got pure fuzzy mockit fur



⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀wee pebbles lets go ae ma haun

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀mon dah dah

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀shes sayin

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀bold as ye like

⠀⠀⠀⠀she’s ooer thair in her wee barbie wellies

⠀⠀extendin her paw tae the wee fuzzy ginger pups

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n placin the piece on the grass pure gentle


⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀crouchin doon next tae the foaxes

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀she makes aht chi-chi noise

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀the same noise she makes tae thi cat

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n they look at me

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀as if fur permission

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀n patter closer tae hur

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀until she cin gee thum a wee clap


⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀they munch away oan thi piece n

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀after a while ah go ooer

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀even end up clappin thi wee hings

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀wid ye believe

⠀⠀⠀⠀thi wee cubs wid melt a black hert ⠀⠀⠀so they wid

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀thair pure wispy fur

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n thair lit a wrickle ah bones unnerneath

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀thair needin fed dah dah

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀she’s sayin

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀bless her wee cotton soakes


⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n here

⠀ye wilny believe this

⠀⠀⠀day after boxin day

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀thair ah um

⠀⠀⠀⠀sittin outside oan the grass

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀in the freezing cauld

⠀⠀⠀⠀hearin thi wains blarin the grinch oan the telly

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀wan leftoor piece n guess whit am dain

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀  waitin oan these foaxes

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n sure enough

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀they poke thair heeds oot fae the hedge

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀bold as ye like

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀n thair oor aht ma feet

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀tearin throo thi turkey n bacon


⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀aye fair enough

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀awrite ah’ll allow it

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀happy new year bois


What do you think of foaxes 2? Let me know in the comment section below. Read the original foaxes poem here.

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